


Heavy lies the head

by tinyarmedtrex



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: King Gansey, Knight Adam, M/M, Magician Ronan, Medieval AU, Oblivious Adam, but now with trolls!, pining Ronan, poor Chainsaw is a third wheel, typical canon magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:48:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25039513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyarmedtrex/pseuds/tinyarmedtrex
Summary: Adam can't stand the court magician, Ronan, but when his King sends the two of them on a quest Adam has no choice but to learn to work with the other man.
Relationships: Ronan Lynch & Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 38
Kudos: 136
Collections: TRC Big Bang 2020





	1. Chapter 1

Adam stared at his King, too stunned to speak for a moment. He was sure he’d misheard twice- both about the quest he was being sent on and the companion he would be with. 

“Are you sure you want me to do this sire? Others have more experience.” He finally stumbled out.

His King smiled at him in return. The smile that told Adam he’d already thought through this and knew it was the right decision. “Yes Adam, you’re the perfect man for the job.” 

He nodded, humbled by the King’s faith in him. As that sunk in though the second concern rose, about who he would complete this with. There was no way it would work, the King had to know that. 

Swallowing the lump in his throat Adam spoke again. “My liege, if I may offer another option.” He asked cautiously, watching the King for any sign of annoyance or dismissal. Not that those were emotions that often overtook King Richard Gansey III but he was always cautious, careful. Adam had made a life of staying in his place and not overstepping his bounds and he wasn’t about to wreck it. But still, he needed to say something. What the King was asking, surely he didn’t mean it. 

He gestured broadly, indicating that Adam may speak. 

Adam nodded, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he spoke slowly, trying to cover up the remnants of his pheasant accent that came out when he was stressed. 

“Grant me leave to travel alone. I can move quicker and quieter on my own, keeping this great task a secret. And then only one of your court will be gone, rather than two. Your wizard can stay here and protect you.” 

_Or whatever it is that the man does_ , Adam added silently, swallowing any words that may be construed as rude against the court wizard. 

The King listened, nodding along. He was a good man, like his father before him, and Adam was lucky to be serving under him. He knew that. The King often spoke to the common people but they were never just words, it was promises too. Promises of a better life, of safety and prosperity. He would often take walks among his people, listening to their thoughts and complaints. The tradition had begun with his parents, when the queen had taken her prince outside the castle and encouraged him to interact with other children. 

“I appreciate you sharing your thoughts but I have to refuse your proposal.” The King said, interrupting Adam’s thoughts. The King smiled as he said it, liked he’d known it was coming. Sometimes, Adam felt that the King knew him too well. Throughout the years, they’d become close friends, often taking dinner together or going on horse rides. Adam found the man intelligent and passionate. He was genuinely interested in Adam’s thoughts, something Adam had never experienced before moving to the castle. 

Like now. Adam was sure that the King had correctly understood the true meaning of Adam’s request. It wasn’t that he wanted to undertake this alone, it was that he didn’t want to work with the wizard. 

He had to try one more time. “Sire-”

“Adam. I know you prefer to work alone. You haven’t even accepted a squire. However, this is a dangerous mission and I want you to have a companion. I can not allow you to complete this alone.” His tone was even but final. 

“Then allow me to take Sir Henry!” 

A firm head shake. “You may need his magic. It can aid you in tight spots.”

“It doesn’t even work during the day time.” Adam mumbled. He knew that the King had heard him by the slight smile that appeared. 

“It’s time for both of you to set aside your differences. You would be a great pair if only you could work together.” Adam had heard this before. The King had always seen something in his wizard that no one else did, Adam included. 

“If I may-”

“It’s an order, Adam.” 

Any other argument he had dropped from his lips. The discussion was over and the decision was made so Adam did the only thing he could. He nodded, bowing and then backing out of the room. His only hope now was that the wizard wouldn’t agree as quickly and that he would demand a different partner. The man loved to challenge authority, arguing with anyone who he disagreed with until they got sick of it and left. Adam had seen it happen many times. He grated people down, throwing rude insults or snide comments at them until it wasn’t worth it to engage. It grated on Adam, how rude it was, how childish. 

It was one of the many reasons that Adam couldn’t stand Ronan, the court wizard. Ronan and Adam had butted heads since Adam’s first day in the castle and things had only gotten worse since. Ronan seemed to find joy in annoying Adam, in behaving cruelly and in a manner that didn’t befit a man of the court. Adam was certain that the only reason he was still around was because he and the King had been friends since birth. For some reason, the King considered him trustworthy and beyond reproach- even though Adam and others in the court disagreed.

At first, Adam had tried to have a professional relationship with Ronan but it proved impossible. He broke or ignored every court rule and openly mocked the sacred practices that helped the kingdom run smoothly. He had no regard for authority or appreciation of his place. 

It was the final thing that riled Adam the most. Ronan had been born into this, his father had been the court wizard before him. Unlike Gansey, he never ventured out, never tried to learn what it was like to live as a commoner or understand other viewpoints and Adam had no patience for spoiled court children. 

The two had an unspoken agreement to avoid the other as much as possible, interacting only in court meetings and at required dinners. It allowed Adam to largely ignore Ronan’s presence and for Ronan to continue to be an ass. 

Except now Adam was being sent on a quest with him to locate the missing crown of King Glendower. Rumors of the object had swirled around the kingdom for centuries, all promising different things - great wealth, peace in the kingdom, a longer life. The King always spoke of it with a hushed reverence. It had been his obsession for years, something he devoted his time to finding and reading all material about it that still existed. King Glendower had died centuries ago and the crown had gone missing, possibly stolen or hidden. Adam knew that his king would love to search for it on his own, to find it himself but as a ruler, he didn’t have that luxury. Instead, as he’d explained to Adam only minutes ago, he was sending his most trusted men to find it. 

The exact location was still unknown but the King had discovered a new lead. He and Ronan would go speak to an old witch who claimed to know where the crown lay. Adam didn’t have high hopes for the lead, many other knights had been sent out to investigate other clues but none had led to the ancient crown, but the King seemed certain that this would lead them to it, that he would return with the crown. 

The King had ordered him to leave the next day, concerned that the witch would leave her forrest when she heard they were coming. Adam had been ready, he would do anything for his king, until he added that he would also be travelling with the court wizard. Adam’s protests had gone unheeded and now it seemed that he would be travelling with the other man. Rather than thinking about it, Adam forced himself to make a list of what he would need. They would leave early in the morning and Adam had to be prepared. 

The next morning, he was in the stables, talking to Noah, one of his other friends in court. 

“Your horse is ready, bag attached and I even snatched these from the kitchen for you.” Noah said. “Don’t tell Calla, she’d box my ears.”

Adam smiled, accepting the still warm food. He and Noah had been friends for years, despite having nearly nothing in common, and Adam would miss him while he was gone. 

“Now if I only had a partner-” He looked around. They were supposed to leave at daybreak to cover the most distance but the other man was nowhere to be seen. Adam was ready, wearing his best riding clothes, his sword at his hip. He had been ready hours ago. Noah had been listening to Adam complain about it since he’d appeared, abruptly as always. 

He grabbed a stable boy. “Could you see if the man has even woken up yet?” He asked. The boy nodded, disappearing quickly and quietly and Adam continued to wait.

“Do you think the rumors about Ronan are true?” Noah asked as he cut slices off an apple, offering one to the horse who happily accepted.

“That’s he’s lazy and boarish? Yes.”

“That he can conjure anything he wants, anything he can dream of.” Noah shook his head, clearly impressed with the idea. “Can you imagine? I wonder why he stays here, he could have his own castle!”

Adam shook his head for an entirely different reason. He knew that many in the court were impressed by Ronan’s powers but he had always doubted that they were true. The man had never demonstrated his ‘powers’, at least not to the extent that he claimed. “Because it’s not true. Even magic has limits. I’m sure that Ronan’s does as well.” 

“You’d lose that bet, knight.” Someone drawled from behind them. Adam turned to see Ronan, wearing a shirt with sleeves torn off and dirty breeches. That blasted tattoo was poking out, one that many claimed gave Ronan his power. Adam had often wondered if he received it in the stocks. 

“You decided to come after all.” Adam replied, trying to keep his voice even. Ronan had only spoken five words and already Adam was annoyed with him. 

Ronan arched an eyebrow, smirking. “Don’t sound so disappointed.” 

“Hardly.” He stiffened under Ronan’s blatant gaze. He didn’t want to have a verbal sparring match, not when they were already behind schedule. “Can we leave now? We were supposed to ride at daylight.” 

“A few hours will hardly matter in terms of our noble quest.” 

He had to bite back a retort. Ronan clearly didn’t believe in this, may not have even believed that that the crown was real. If that was the case why had he bothered to come? Surely Gansey wouldn’t have ordered him if he didn’t believe in the cause. 

“Your horses are outside.” A squire said, looking reluctant to interrupt them. 

“Fine.” Adam turned, going outside to his horse. He’s ridden her before and knew she could handle the long distances easily. 

Next to his horse was a large black mare, which looked like it belonged to one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. The horse turned to him, eyes glinting in the sun and Adam had to stop himself from drawing back. 

“Ignore Chainsaw, she likes to spook people.” Ronan said, walking up to her and muttering something into her ear. Ronan laughed and Adam swore that the horse did too. 

“Chainsaw?” Noah asked, reaching out a hand to pet her. She huffed but allowed it, tilting her head as he scratched her ears. 

“What’s fiercer than a chain with a saw attached?” Ronan asked, that egotistical grin back on his face. Adam wanted nothing more than to wipe it off.

“It’s a nonsensical name.” He muttered, mounting his own horse and pointedly ignoring the man beside him. Noah gave Adam a quick wave then disappeared, likely to steal more food. As they were about to leave, a woman came out, wearing breeches and a tunic. 

“Queen Blue.” Adam said, about to dismount and bow, but she held up a hand. 

“Stay. I am here only on my king’s bequest. He would have come but we have a surprise envoy from another country that demanded his attention.” Her eyes glinted, telling Adam that she was supposed to be there as well but had slipped away. Adam couldn’t help but smile, he had always liked her. She would insist on going on adventures, leaving the castle and exploring and the King had always sent Adam with her. The two of them became close and, Adam could admit it now, he’d been smitten with her for a time during her courtship with the King. But now he saw that the two of them belonged together. They fit like puzzle pieces, contrasting but slotting together and he would never want to change that. 

“Did he give you a speech to deliver?” Adam asked.

She grinned. “Certainly but I, in my queenly wisdom, have decided to ignore it. Instead, I want to remind you both that the King cares deeply about this quest and both of you. I expect you to either return with the crown or with proof that it doesn’t exist. Either way, I want an end to this mad search.” She stepped forward, handing Adam a small pouch. “Coins and gems, to trade as you need. Keep them and yourself safe.” He nodded, smiling at her. 

Then she stepped to Ronan, handing him a belt with small bottles. “Potions, to keep you both healthy. Sir Adam is my favorite and I expect him to come back in one piece.”

“What about me?” Ronan asked, strapping on the belt. 

“You may come back in as many pieces as you desire.” She replied, smiling. Another reason Adam liked the queen was that she also seemed immune to Ronan’s charm. She would never say anything against the man but they clearly weren’t close. 

As Ronan tucked the potions away, she turned to them both. “Ride swiftly and safely. We look forward to your safe return.” 

Adam bowed in his seat. “We will complete the quest, my Queen.” 

Ronan stayed silent, likely because he couldn’t complain in front of her. She nodded to them once more before disappearing into the stables. 

Then it was just them. Adam felt like he should say something, something brave and noble to start them off. But as he tried to think of a message, Ronan kicked the side of his horse, galloping off without a word. 

Adam sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy. 

The two rode in silence, quickly going through the town that surrounded the castle. Adam knew the area well, he’d grown up there and, as much as possible, avoided returning to it. It held no good memories. Adam stared ahead as they passed the small houses and taverns, reminding himself that it would be over soon. 

As they rode, he noticed some odd things about Ronan’s horse. Strange quirks like how her ears seemed to change shape or how her nose would flare at certain spots. He was curious but didn’t dare ask, not wanting to interrupt the uneasy silence that had fallen over them. The less he spoke to Ronan the better, that much was already clear. 

They rode for hours, both seeming reluctant to be the first one to break. It was well past dusk and the road was getting harder to see. 

“We’ll stop here.” Ronan said, abruptly stopping and pulling his horse to the side. 

“Oh? Are you tired?” Adam asked, refusing to acknowledge how relieved he was. They’d more than made up for the late start since they hadn’t stopped for a meal. 

Ronan looked back at him with a feral grin. “No, I didn’t want your horse to trip. It’s getting dark, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“I had.” Adam tried to keep his voice even but by the gods this man could get under his skin. “And your horse? She won’t trip?”

“Never.” Ronan dismounted and Adam watched, astonished, as Ronan’s horse changed into a small crow and flew up to land on Ronan’s shoulder. “Chainsaw is special.” 

“Magic.” Adam said, needing to hear Ronan confirm what his eyes had seen. 

“Obviously. She can shapeshift. It’s useful.” The bird cawed at him. “And yes, she’s better than any dirty horse.” 

Adam dismounted too, tying up his horse nearby so she could graze. Once she was secure he looked around the area. They’d pulled off the road but there wasn’t any shelter nearby, no caves or even large rocks to break the wind. “I suppose we’ll sleep on the ground. Hopefully no one comes by.”

“You can sleep out here. I’ll be in the tent.” Ronan said. Adam was about to ask what tent he was referring to when Ronan picked up a small parcel and threw it on the ground. Instantly, there was a small tent there, big enough for the two of them and their packs. 

“It’s also magicked so only we can see it.” Ronan added, seeming delight by Adam’s shock. 

“Well. Good.” As reluctant as he was, Adam had to admit he was impressed. He may have underestimated Ronan’s usefulness- even if it didn’t make up for his less than winning personality. 

The men crawled in and lit a light as Adam grabbed food from his pack, handing Ronan a portion. “I’m assuming you eat?” He asked, trying not to wolf down his portion. Despite the fact that it had been years since he’d lacked food, the memories still lingered and it was still difficult for him to eat slowly. 

“Yes knight, I do.” Ronan took his portion, crumbling some of the biscuit for his crow to eat. 

They sat in silence except for the occasional chirp from the bird. When she finished her portion, she hopped over to Adam, looking at him with her dark eyes.

“She wants to know if you want to share.” Ronan told him, stuffing another bite in his mouth.

“Not really.” Adam held his food slightly higher but she was undeterred. She simply flew up to his shoulder, sticking her face next to his and reaching for his biscuit.

He felt Ronan’s curious eyes on him. For the first time that day, Ronan was looking at him, not the sideways glances Adam had noticed earlier but full on staring. “She’s never done that for someone else.” He finally said.

“Lucky me.” The bird squawked and Adam gave in, holding up his napkin for her to nibble on the remaining pieces. When she finished, she preened his hair for a second before hopping back down. As much as he didn’t want to like something that Ronan had created, Adam had to admit Chainsaw was growing on him. He reached out, running a finger down her back as she chirped happily. When he looked up, Adam saw that Ronan was still watching him. He couldn’t read the other man’s expression and a second later, Ronan turned away and said he was going to sleep.

That night, Adam slept poorly. He could pretend it was the hard ground or wolves howling in the distance but he knew it wasn’t that. It was the weight of the quest, the desire to impress his King, to do whatever he could to help the kingdom. Adam owed the King everything and he couldn’t stand the idea of disappointing him. Those thoughts swirled in his mind, keeping him awake far into the night. He finally fell asleep as the sun started to poke over the horizon, signalling that a new day was starting.


	2. Chapter 2

When Adam woke up he was alone. It took him a moment to collect his bearings, to remember where he was and why he was sleeping on the ground. 

Dressing quickly he rolled out of the tent, looking for his companion. The man was a few feet away, crouched down and it sounded like he was speaking to someone.

“Ronan?” Adam asked, walking over.

“Fucking leave.” Ronan hissed then he stood, turning to Adam. “Hey sleeping beauty, are you finally ready?”

Immediately, annoyance rose up in him. He held a small hope that he was wrong about Ronan, that the man wasn’t as bad as he thought but so far Ronan was acting exactly how he’d expected.

“Yes.” He bit back. “We can leave now.” He ignored the rumble in his stomach, asking him to eat breakfast. He didn’t want to give Ronan any other reason to tease him for a delay. 

He ate in his saddle, noticing that today Ronan was riding closer, watching Adam out of the corner of his eyes. “What do you need?” Adam finally asked, trying to keep his voice even. There was no sense in fighting this early in the morning. He was still tired, wishing that he could have slept another two or three hours. It wasn’t a good start to the day, especially not when he needed to be alert and watching for danger. 

“This quest. What will you do if it fails?”

“It won’t.” 

Ronan scoffed. “You can’t know that. What if Glendower is just a rumor? What if we find him but not the crown? What if we meet a beast so foul that we have to turn back?”

“It won’t fail.  _ I  _ won’t fail.” Adam repeated, his voice low but firm. 

“Why not? I didn’t peg you for one to care about glory or reknowned.” 

Adam turned his head to look at Ronan. “The King sent us on this quest and I intend to complete it for him. It’s that simple.” 

He could almost see the gears turning in Ronan’s head. “So you’re in love with him then? Is that it? You know the man is mad about his queen.”

Adam scoffed, insulted. “You think the only reason I would do something like this is out of something as mundane as love?”

“It’s why I did it.” Ronan replied, suddenly not looking at him. 

“Well, it’s not why I did it. I owe the King and I will spend my life repaying the debt. Anything he asks I will deliver. There’s no other option as far as I am concerned. I will find the crown or die trying.” Adam wasn’t a fool, he knew how he sounded. Foolish, young, but he meant it. He refused to let doubt win, especially this early in their quest. 

Ronan turned to him again, intrigued. “That’s right, he found you on the street didn’t he?”

At that, Adam bristled. It was true but it didn’t mean he liked being reminded of it. “Not all of us were so fortunate as to grow up in the palace.” He bit back, hating how easily Ronan got a rise out of him. 

“Don’t raise the palace up too high, it too has flaws.” Ronan said, not looking at him again. 

Adam was done with this conversation. “We need to find the witch. I don’t suppose you have any spells that will help?”

“My magic isn’t in spells. You should know that.” Adam opened his mouth to retort but Ronan pulled out a small compass. “I dream things. Usually they’re helpful. Sometimes they aren't.” Adam wanted to ask what that meant but Ronan was still talking. 

“This will point us towards the witch.” He held the compass up high and both men watched as it spun around once, twice, then pointed due north. 

“That’s our path.” The magician said, turning Chainsaw and starting in that direction. Adam followed, the two falling back into silence. 

They rode most of that day and the next without seeing anything of interest, passing through a few small towns and spotting some dragons in the distance that he had to remind himself not to gape at. He had never been this far outside the city and kept reminding himself not to stare as they passed centuries old trees with fairies who flitted about, baring their teeth when the men got too close, or snakes as big as Adam’s horse, sunning themselves on rocks. It was a reminder of how much of the world Adam hadn’t seen, how much he didn’t know. It made him feel small and he didn’t like it. 

On their third day they passed by a large cave. Adam was about to suggest that they camp there for the night when something lumbered out. It took Adam a moment to recognize the creature, so surprised was he that something so huge had fit into the small opening of the cave. Then he registered what it was. A troll. A nasty, cruel creature that was known for eating horse and breaking bones. 

It had clearly smelled them, the beast’s nostrils flared and its head whipped to them, lunging for them far faster than Adam would have thought possible, covering long yards in a few simple bounds. 

Adam was frozen in place, staring at the monster. It was huge and ugly. He’d never seen a live troll so close, he had no idea that their skin was so green or that they would smell so putrid. Under him, his horse whinnied, begging him to start their escape but he couldn’t bring himself to move the reins or direct him. All he could do was watch as the creature moved closer, drool falling from it’s mouth in thick ropes. 

“Adam! Move!” Ronan screamed. He already sounded far away, he’d started to run as soon as the troll appeared. In a flash Adam saw himself dying, crushed by the troll while Ronan reported the incident back to the King and Queen. Even his own death didn’t jar him from his stupor. 

Then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ronan riding closer. He was holding something up in his hand and, once he was in range, flung it at the monster. Instantly the troll froze in place, not moving another inch. 

“A sword would be useful right now!” Ronan cried, pulling to a stop in front of Adam, his expression frantic. “That powder will only stop him for a second and he’ll like be angry once he recovers.”

“Right!” As Adam fumbled for his sword his horse bucked, tired of waiting for him. Adam was thrown to the ground, landing with a painful groan as his horse galloped away. Adam didn’t have time to be stunned though, the troll had recovered and was moving towards them away. 

Ronan rode to him, stretching out his arm. “Here! Take my hand!” Adam didn’t hesitate to clasp Ronan’s hand in his and with surprising strength he pulled Adam onto the back of his horse. Once Adam was safely seated Ronan turned to him, saying, “I’ll ride close, can you hurt him? If we run he’ll only follow so we need to end this quickly.” 

“Yes I can- yes.” Adam looked at the troll, nearly three time his size. Fear pulsed in him but Adam couldn’t let it win. 

“Aim for the stomach.” Ronan said, facing forward as he urged Chainsaw ahead. Unlike Adam’s horse she obeyed, galloping in and getting alarmingly close to the troll. Adam took a deep breath, pulling his blade back and running it along the beast’s stomach, slicing it open. The air was immediately filled with the smell of guts and blood. Adam had to swallow back vomit as the troll bellowed. 

“Again.” Ronan pulled back, narrowly escaping a swipe of claws and then lined them up for a second hit. The troll stumbled, one hand clutching its stomach. If it was angry before now it was furious. Beady black eyes stared at them and it let out a roar that shook the trees around them. 

“If you can cut in the same spot I can throw in an expanding stone. We’ll explode the beast from the inside out.” Ronan explained, palming a small blue rock. 

He nodded, not entirely understanding but knowing his part. Again, they ran in but this time the troll was ready. It raised a clawed hand and swiped Ronan, hitting his shoulder. Adam watched in horror as blood blossomed on his torn shirt. 

“Ronan!” 

“Stab him Parrish.” Ronan gritted out, holding his bloodied arm. 

Adam’s training kicked in- eliminate the problem and then help your companions. He looked at the troll, jabbing him in same spot and creating a hole. As the creature reared back Ronan threw something inside the wound.

“Run Chainsaw!” Ronan screamed, urging his horse forward. She didn’t need the encouragement, galloping away as Adam craned his neck to watch what was happening. The troll clutched it’s stomach, looking confused. It took one, two, lumbering steps towards them before it stopped. 

“Duck!” Ronan yelled, grabbing Adam’s head and pulling it down. He barely had time to let out an indignant yelp before he felt himself sprayed with something. It took him a second to realize that it was the guts and blood of the troll. When he looked up a second later he saw that the creature was in pieces, chunks of it strewn around the ground. 

“What- what was that?” Adam asked, gaping at the steaming piles. 

“A toy I dreamt for the palace children. It expands to hundreds of its original size.” Ronan explained, looking at the mess he’d created. “Didn’t think of it as a weapon until one of the brats swallowed it. We had to work quick.”

Adam nodded slowly, still dumbfounded by what had just happened. Then he remembered Ronan’s wound. “We need to patch you. Troll’s have-”

“I know. I’ve got a few hours before that happens and we need to not be here. Something bigger will come to investigate the smell.” Ronan scanned the horizon. “Your horse is gone, you’ll need to stay on Chainsaw.”

“Fine. Let’s just leave.” Adam wanted nothing more than a hot bath. He was covered in blood and gore from the explosion and knew he’d soon smell terrible. Ronan had been mostly spared from it, since Adam was closer to the explosion, but he smelled too. It was dangerous to smell like this when other monsters were around, ready to pick off a small, tasty treat. As they rose Adam stayed on high alert, looking for any signs of trouble. 

Once they’d ridden for a while though the adrenaline wore of and Adam found himself thinking about what had happened, how quickly Ronan had acted.

“How did you know what to do?” He asked. He’d studied trolls, along with other creatures in the kingdom, but all of the knowledge had fled his mind when the beast had appeared. 

Ronan’s answer shocked him. “I spent time out here.”

He had no idea that anyone raised in the palace had ever left for anything more than a trip to the summer castle, especially the court magician. Adam raised his eyebrows, waiting for Ronan to explain further. When nothing came he asked, “Why? Was it part of your training?” Even knights weren’t trained outside the city. It was thought to be too dangerous. 

“My father he-” Ronan paused, clearly thinking through his next words. “Took us out.” His voice was cold, edged with bitter hate and Adam sensed that that was all that Ronan would say about the matter. He didn’t press, instead trying to scout for a place to rest.

They found it soon, a small river with decent tree cover and Adam dismounted the horse while Ronan nearly fell off, only landing safely because of Adam’s help. 

“Let me look.” Adam demanded as Ronan started to turn away.

“Do you have any healing skills?” 

Adam took a deep breath, reminding himself not to yell at the injured man. “Yes. It’s part of our training. Now, will you let me help you or would you rather the wound become infected?”

Ronan regarded him like a wounded animal would have, sure that Adam would take advantage if he showed any weakness. Eventually he decided to trust Adam because he stepped in, showing Adam his shoulder. 

“Shirt off.” Adam directed. There was no point in trying to save it, it was ripped to shreds. “Where are the supplies the Queen gave us?” 

Ronan glared at him again but obliged, pulling off the tattered shirt as he pointed to his pack. Adam hurried over, grabbing the potions and clean bandages. He took Ronan’s shirt and dunked it in the water. 

“I need to clean it.” He said when he felt Ronan’s eyes on him. “You know that.” Trolls had a venom in their nails that could easily kill smaller animals. It took hours to reach the bloodstream. Adam just hoped they still had time. 

Ronan lifted his chin defiantly. “I can do it.” 

“I’m aware but it’s far easier if I do it.” Ronan didn’t move and he sighed, rubbing his face with a hand. “By the gods, I’m not going to hurt you. I’m trying to help you. I know we hate each other but-”

“I don’t hate you knightling.” Ronan snapped back.

Adam rolled his eyes. “Despise. Barely tolerate. Whatever word you want to use. Regardless, I need to help you now. We’re in this together.”

Ronan gave him one more long look then, finally, nodded. Adam moved in before the man could change his mind, wiping off the blood so he could see the cut better. Ronan didn’t flinch as he cleaned but Adam could feel how tense he was.

The injury wasn’t as bad as it could be, most barely broke skin. But he could already see the one cut bubbling, the troll’s poison doing its work. Adam tried to keep his expression even as he said, “Sit. I need to clean it and bandage you.”

To his surprise Ronan obeyed, moving to a fallen log. Adam followed, uncorking a healing salve and pouring some on the shirt. “This may sting.” He said, looking into Ronan’s eyes.

The man stared back at him. Adam had never realized how blue his eyes were, like the sky on a cloudless day. “I’ve handled worse.”

That, Adam didn’t doubt. Still when he pressed the cloth to the wound Ronan hissed. This was only the start, cleaning the cut properly could take a while. 

“How did you discover your gift?” He asked, trying to distract Ronan.

“I pulled something out of my dreams as a child. Something big with a lot of teeth.”

“That sounds terrifying.” Adam said.

“It was.” Ronan’s voice was even but Adam could tell the memory was painful. “I was scared, confused. I ran to my mother and father.”

“And they protected you?”

Ronan laughed bitterly, shaking his head. “My father took me back to my room and made me kill it. He said anything that I brought back was my responsibility.”

Adam paused, looking at Ronan in disbelief. “Gods, really? What an awful man.”

“It was a good lesson. I was more careful after that.” Ronan hissed as Adam reached the deepest part of the cut. “And you? Did you always dream of being a brave and valiant knight?”

“No, not exactly.”

He felt Ronan watching him, waiting for him to explain. Adam sighed. “The King, Gansey, he found me. Rescued me.” 

Adam still remembered every detail of that day. He had been a child, avoiding his father who was angry with him for one thing or another, and he’d seen the young prince, playing a game with other children in the village. He knew who the boy was immediately. Even if he was shouting along with the others he still had the air of royalty, his clothes were a little finer and he stood a little straighter. 

Adam had been utterly enchanted by him. He’d loved watching how he organized the other children into a game, already a born leader, how he commanded them with kindness but still ensured they listened. Adam had watched for hours, not daring to join in but wishing desperately that he could. 

Eventually he’d been discovered by his father and dragged away, beaten as soon as he was out of sight of other townsfolk. But he didn’t forget the prince. Over the next few years he tried to sneak away whenever he could to watch him as he walked among the village. Once, when he was ten or eleven, he had seen that Gansey was alone, trying to convince his horse to take a certain path. He’d never seen the boy without his guards or parents nearby nor looking so annoyed, practically begging the animal to listen to him. 

Adam had approached cautiously, not sure if it was wise. Even if Adam had watched him from afar they’d never interacted. He didn’t know if the boy would want a commoner to help him but something compelled Adam to move forward, to speak. 

“His shoe is hurting him.” Adam said, stopping a few feet away and dropping into a low bow.

The Prince turned, an eyebrow raised and a slightly surprised expression on his face. “Oh? How do you know?”

He had approached, careful not to look the prince in the eye. His father had taught Adam about the rules of respect since he was born. He was the lowest rung of the pecking order. He understood that. 

“Here sire.” Adam pointed, careful not to touch the horse. “You can see that the shoe poking out from under his hoof. He’s probably in a lot of pain.” 

“Are you saying the royal horse keeper made a mistake?”

Adam looked up, horrified at the mistake he’d made. “No, no never. It’s sure he had his reasons my lord. I didn’t mean-” 

The Prince raised a hand, making Adam flinch. A look passed over the prince’s eyes, one Adam read as sympathy for the pathetic street urchin. He regretted venturing out to talk to the other boy. He’d hoped, for a second, that maybe he could make a friend. He was fool. He’d be lucky if the prince didn’t put him in the stocks for this. 

“I’ll leave sire.” Adam said, bowing again. He didn’t want to be there anymore, his father had probably noticed his absence by now and he needed to return before things reached a boiling point. 

“What’s your name?” The prince asked. 

“Adam Parrish sir.” 

“Well Adam Parrish, I wasn’t upset. I was trying to determine where the issue occurred.” Gansey glanced at his horse, patting his mane. “So that I may fix it and help Pig.”

Forgetting himself for a moment Adam glanced up, meeting the prince’s eyes with a confused expression. “Pig?” 

“His name. I named him when I was much younger.” Gansey smiled at him. “He was my first friend.” 

Adam only nodded, trying to think of a way to leave without invoking ire. 

“Would you walk with me? Help me get him back to my mother? I think I’ve managed to get lost out here.”

Adam knew he should say no, that he should get back to make dinner, but he found himself nodding. He had spent the whole afternoon with the Prince, listening to him talk about whatever came to his mind. He’d stayed quiet, respectful, but as the Prince asked him more questions he’d found himself opening up, talking about his life. He seemed interested in how Adam lived. He’d kept out most of the details, trying to focus on the few good things like fresh honey from the market or where the best climbing trees were. It was the best day Adam had ever had. 

When he’d returned home he’d been beaten so badly that his eye was swollen shut for days but he didn’t care. 

“Gansey has a habit of doing that.” Ronan said, interrupting his memory. It felt like Ronan had heard him speak, though Adam had replayed it only in his mind. “How did you end up at the palace then?”

“The King also has a habit of helping people, whether or not they want it.” Adam said. 

The following day had been the shock of Adam’s life when the Prince had show up at his house, respectfully asking his father if Adam could join him to play. Adam had watched from the corner as his father sputtered, explaining that Adam was an evil child, that the prince should find someone else to spend time with as Adam was needed in the fields. The prince had prickled at this and eventually offered a few coins to make up Adam’s lost wages. What the prince had given him was more than Adam made in a month but his father didn’t say that. Adam knew he was calculating how many drinks he could buy with it. As they left the Prince’s eyes had travelled over his bruised face and arms but he hadn’t said anything. 

They’d spent another day together and Adam had laughed more than he ever had in his life. When he’d gone home his father had forbade him from spending time with the prince, saying that Adam needed to remember his place. 

He hadn’t listened. He’d snuck out the next day to meet the prince, his new bruises shining under the summer sky. Again he felt Gansey’s - as he insisted that Adam call him- eyes flick to them but the other boy didn’t say anything. 

It had gone on for a few weeks until one day Gansey asked Adam if he’d like to live in the palace. 

“My father insisted that I find a court that I trust.” The prince had said, turning to Adam. “I trust you. I want you to be my knight. You would live in the castle and we would train you.”

“I-” The refusal was on Adam’s tongue. He knew what his father would say, how angry he’d be to lose the help and his punching bag. 

“You would never have to see your father again.” Gansey added, dropping his voice. It was the closest they’d ever come to discussing his injuries.

Adam had thought about leaving many times, running away late at night and never looking back. But he never had, he was too scared of what would happen if the man found him again, that he would kill Adam before he ever let him leave. 

“He will never touch you again.” The prince had said, leaning in and taking his hand. “I give you my word.” Adam knew he was sincere, that he would protect Adam however he could. Others may see it as buying Adam’s loyalty but Adam knew it wasn’t that, it was the prince trying to use his resources for good, to help, something that he would watch Gansey do over and over in the years to come. 

“I’ll join you.” Adam had said, nodding firmly. “I’ll be your knight.”

That had been nearly fifteen years ago. Adam had moved to the castle that day, despite the wails from his mother and stern look from his father. He’d never looked back. He’d tried harder than anyone else, waking up early to be train and staying up late to teach himself to read and write. He knew how lucky he was to have escaped his old life and he was never going back. 

Adam had become a full knight a few years ago, officially joining now King Gansey’s court. 

“Aye, that he does.” 

Adam looked up, seeing that Ronan’s eyes were still on him, watching him like he now understood a deeper truth about Adam. He wasn’t sure he liked it. 

“You should be able to travel.” Adam said, standing and moving away. The bandage wasn’t perfect but it would work, he wouldn’t lose the arm at least. 

“I’ll need a new shirt.” Ronan said, looking at the tattered one in Adam’s hands.

“And I need a new horse.” Adam replied, trying not to think of the loss of supplies, including the jewels from the Queen. 

“We’ll near a village soon enough.” Ronan glanced around the area and nodded. “I think that's enough travelling for today though. How about we turn in early tonight?”

Adam nodded. He was suddenly exhausted and the thought of climbing back on the horse seemed daunting. “I’ll get us water.” He offered, wanting to also take a quick bath in the stream to wash off the gore that still clung to him.

“And I’ll start a fire.” Ronan offered Adam a small smile as he said it and Adam felt a small shift in their relationship, something that moved them further from hate and into- something else. 

Then he realized that he was staring at the shirtless mage and turned, his cheeks burning, and focused on finding the least rocky part of the river. 

That night the tent felt smaller. Adam couldn’t get the image of Ronan out of his head. He was grateful that they’d reach the witch soon and find our their next step. The sooner Adam was back at the castle the better. Then they could go back to ignoring one another. 

The next day they went slowly, partially because they had to share a horse but also because Adam was concerned about Ronan’s injury. As much as the other man denied any pain Adam wasn’t so sure. He thought he saw Ronan favoring his other arm and didn’t want thing to get any worse.

“I swear it gets colder the further we get from the castle.” Adam said that night, tossing and turning while he tried to get comfortable. 

“I can dream you something warmer.” The man mumbled. 

“Can I trust what you dream?” He asked, remembering that the first thing Ronan had dreamt was a monster. He wondered what kind of child Ronan must have been, to be dreaming of monsters instead of puppies or candy. 

“As much as you trust me.”

He didn’t respond to that, any answer he gave would reveal too much. Instead he curled tighter into himself, pulling his knees to his chest. It had been years since he’d been this cold. It reminded him of his childhood, how his father had stolen his blanket whenever he was chilled, leaving Adam to freeze or go sleep with the pigs. He had thought his bones would crack from how hard he shivered. Adam hated those nights. 

Then he felt something against his back, curling next to him. “I can hear your teeth from over there.” Ronan muttered, throwing his blanket over both of them as he moved closer. 

“You don’t- I didn’t-” Adam tried to explain but he was warmer. The other man was a furnace and Adam didn’t want him to move. Besides he fit well, like he belonged there. “I will be okay.” 

“It’s fine.” Ronan’s breath hit his ear and Adam shivered from something entirely unrelated to the weather. “ I need you well rested.” 

Adam still felt like he should argue but he didn’t know what else to say. His eyes grew heavier and soon he woke the next morning as the sunlight filtered in. He and Ronan were still close but he’d flipped in the night, now facing the other man. Ronan looked gentle when he slept, calmer and softer than Adam had ever seen him. Like he wasn’t weighed down by expectations of other people. 

Not for the first time Adam wondered if he’d misjudged Ronan. Maybe there was more to the other man. 

Then Ronan woke up, grunting and swearing at his back pain and Adam realized he probably hadn’t. Just because Ronan slept peacefully didn’t mean he was anything more than what Adam had always thought- a pain in his neck. Adam moved away, letting Ronan wake up while he dressed.

“Here. You won’t have to touch me again.” Ronan said, throwing something at him. 

Adam caught it, realizing it was a thin blanket. He was about to object that it wouldn’t keep him warm enough when he felt it. While the fabric was light the blanket gave off a heat, instantly warming his cold hands.

“You are magical.” Adam said, marveling at it.

“The blanket is what convinces you?” Ronan asked with a grin. “Not the exploding balls? Or the shapeshifting bird?”

“I’m a simple man. I like to be warm.” Adam replied, looking up at Ronan with his own smile.

Ronan tipped his head back and laughed, shaking his head. “I underestimated you.” 

Warmth and delight filled Adam’s chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amazing art is by non-platonic-murphamy (or grounder_chiiara on insta)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neeve smiled, seeming to enjoy this verbal dance. “You smell sweet. Unrequited love and loss.”
> 
> “The crown.” Ronan repeated. Adam could see a vein throbbing in his neck. “Where is it?”
> 
> She cackled, tipping her head back and laughing to the heavens. “Oh it fell. Down, down, down, into the depths. You’ll never find it. It’s gone. Lost for thousands of years.”
> 
> Adam blinked and suddenly Neeve was next to him, staring him in the eyes. He could have sworn she was shorter before but now they were the same height and her eyes pierced him, staring into his soul.
> 
> “And you knight. You smell like determination, a mission. You’ll never find what you seek, not with how you’re looking.”

They were back on the road, still sharing Chainsaw until they found a village where Adam could buy a horse. He wasn’t sure that that would happen anytime soon though. They seemed to only be getting further away from civilization. Now they were entering a forest, one with old trees that stretched so tall they blocked out the light. It felt like another world, one where magic ran wild and he didn’t belong. 

“We’re close.” Ronan said after some time had passed. They’d both been quiet but unlike previous times it was a comfortable silence. Adam had been distracted by the woods and Ronan seemed to be listening for something. 

“You’re tense.” Adam could feel it in Ronan’s shoulders. He was pressed to the other man, his hands around his waist for lack of anywhere else to go and he could feel how tightly coiled the man was. While he was sure that Ronan was normally tightly wound this felt different. It was like he was a predator, lying in wait. Or maybe prey, ready to run at the first sign of trouble. 

“I don’t like it here.” Ronan said quietly, looking around. Adam swore he saw something moving in the trees, scampering around in the branches. “Have your sword ready.” 

They entered a small clearing, in the middle of it was a small hut. Even to Adam it looked wrong somehow, off. Like it didn’t quite belong into this world. His brain told him to look away, to pretend he didn’t see it, but he knew he had to look. 

“Stay close.” Ronan said as they dismounted. For once Adam wasn’t going to argue. Chainsaw danced back, waiting on the edge of the clearing as the men approached.

“Hello?” Adam called, his hand resting on his sword. He saw Ronan grabbing something too. “We’re here on behalf of the King.”

“What King?”

Both whirled around as a woman appeared, standing right behind them. She was wearing dark blue robes, contrasted against her black skin. She looked fierce and feral. Adam was certain that she had seen battle before. He knew that look, one that had seen death and decay and had survived. 

“King Richard, like his father before him.” Adam said, tilting his head up to meet her gaze. He refused to cower, no matter how scared he was.

“Bah.” The woman stepped around them, observing them. Ronan’s eyes narrowed as he followed her, carefully watching every movement. “I don’t care for lines of men. I’ve seen them rise and fall, all under their own folly. Fools. All of them.” She continued to pace, muttering to herself. Each step made Adam grow more uneasy. It felt she was learning about them, even without them speaking. He didn’t like it. 

“They aren’t all fools.” Adam replied, his hackles rising. What did this woman know about their court? About his life? She was here, tucked in the forest. 

“Only a fools would say that.” She said with a cackle, laughing deeply at her own joke. “A fool who hasn’t been around long enough to know the world and what mysteries it hides.” 

“Did you see Glendower fall?” Ronan asked as she began her second circle. 

The witch’s eyes snapped to him and she grinned. “ _ Aha _ . The true reason you are here.” She stepped closer and Ronan didn’t give an inch, staring down at her. “Yes, I knew him, I rode beside him in battle. I was there when he passed through the veil. He fell down, down, down. To where none of his men would follow.” She raised her hand high then plummeted it to the ground in a way that made Adam’s stomach churn. “Brave men who followed him into battle but still feared the cool touch of death. He was lost, forsaken, alone.” 

“And his crown?” Adam asked, his heart thumping against his ribcage. This was the closest they’d been to something, to learning anything. 

The black eyes turned to him and a grin spread over her face. She stepped to Adam, running a finger down his chest. Every part of him wanted to flee but he knew he couldn't. He steeled himself, schooling his features into neutrality. 

“The crown was there, yes. It was always with him. Set atop those curls.” She crooned, tracing the emblem on his chest. 

“What happened to it witch?” Ronan snarled, pushing himself between her and Adam.

She tsked at him. “I like the other one more.” Her eyes flicked to Adam. “What’s your name knight?”

Adam didn’t know if he should answer. It seemed dangerous, to give her his name but he was worried that if he didn’t she would stop talking to them. 

“What’s yours?” Ronan growled. 

She bared her teeth at him. “Neeve. And young magic should treat old magic with respect.”

“I would if you didn’t reek of murder and death.” He said, eyes narrowing.

Neeve smiled, seeming to enjoy this verbal dance. “You smell sweet. Unrequited love and loss.”

“The crown.” Ronan repeated. Adam could see a vein throbbing in his neck. “Where is it?”

She cackled, tipping her head back and laughing to the heavens. “Oh it fell. Down, down, down, into the depths. You’ll never find it. It’s gone. Lost for thousands of years.”

Adam blinked and suddenly Neeve was next to him, staring him in the eyes. He could have sworn she was shorter before but now they were the same height and her eyes pierced him, staring into his soul.

“And you knight. You smell like determination, a mission. You’ll never find what you seek, not with how you’re looking.”

She reached for him again but Ronan was faster, his hand was on Adam’s elbow, pulling him back. Adam blinked rapidly, feeling empty, like a piece of him was taken.

“Where did it fall?” Ronan demanded, not releasing Adam’s arm. “Tell us!” 

Neeve ignored Ronan, staring instead at Adam. “A trade then. The information you want for something I want.”

“What? Anything.” Adam said, shaking off the ill feeling. He could see Ronan shaking his head but Adam refused to leave without knowing. 

She licked her lips. “A memory. I’ll pluck one from that pretty head and keep it, think about it on those nights when there’s only the howls of wolves to keep me company.” 

“Fine.” Adam stepped forward but Ronan grabbed him again. 

“No! You can’t give that up. You don’t know what she’ll take.”

Adam wrenched himself free. “I need to do this.” It wasn’t like he had many memories that he cared about. He would be thrilled to be rid of most of them, especially if it helped his king. 

He looked at the witch, swallowing the lump in his throat. “One memory and in return you’ll tell us where the crown is. That’s the deal.”

She cackled, nodding. “Yes knight. A deal indeed.” She raised a finger, her long nail coming up to his forehead and pressing against it. Adam felt a tingling inside his skull, then a burning. He cried out in pain, trying to get away but couldn’t, the finger held him there, digging around in his skull until she exclaimed with a quiet, ‘aha’. 

Then, slowly, a bright tendril came out of his head, wrapping around her finger as she pulled. It felt like it took eons, Adam screaming in pain and Neeve’s eyes bright as she watched the thread. Adam had never felt pain like this before. Not when his dad whipped him. Not when he froze on those winter nights. Not when swords cut into his flesh. This pain touched his soul, his heart, ripping something from him, something that made him Adam. 

When she released him he fell back, right into Ronan’s arms. 

“Where is it? You promised!” Ronan screamed, trying to hold him up. He was dead weight. Everything was hazy and his vision was swimming. Adam struggled to listen to the witch’s reply but it didn’t make sense. 

“It fell down, down a demon’s mouth, down it’s gullet. You’ll never find it. No one ever has.”

Then Adam passed out. 

When Adam woke up he was on the ground, a pillow under his head and a blanket over him. The first thing he did was roll over and empty his stomach of its breakfast. Then he sat up. Almost immediately Ronan was there, pressing cool water to his lips. 

“Drink. Slowly.” Ronan said, tipping the glass back. Adam nodded, covering Ronan’s as he drank greedily, not pausing until the cup was empty. While he drank Ronan rubbed his back, something that no one had done for Adam since he was a small child. He felt himself leaning into the touch, letting Ronan hold him up. Then he took deep breaths, letting everything that had happened soak in. 

“Did she tell us? Do we know where the crown is?” He rasped, trying to stand. Ronan’s arm went around his waist, helping him up. 

“Take a damn minute Parrish. You just had a memory ripped from your skull.”

“And then we were transported.” Adam looked around, seeing that they were once again surrounded by the tall trees.

“We haven’t moved. It was the forest that moved.” Ronan said, reaching for something. He produced a small biscuit, from where Adam wasn’t sure, and held it up to him. “Eat this.”

Adam took it, taking a small bite. Then he remembered the witch’s last words and his stomach sank. “She didn’t tell us anything did she? I gave her a memory and she gave us an unanswerable riddle.” Regret settled in him. He should have forced her to talk, threatened her even. It wasn’t something he would have been proud of but they need answers, a next step. Now they had nothing. They were back at square one and he had lost one of his only good memories. He could almost feel the hole that it had left. He could remember the moments before it, what had lead up to the event, but then everything went black. Adam pressed his eyes shut, telling himself that crying wouldn’t help. It wouldn’t bring the memory back. 

“I know where to go.” Ronan said. 

Adam’s head snapped to him. “What? How do you know? Where do we need to go?” 

“I told you, I’ve traveled.” Ronan’s hand curled on Adam’s hip. “Where we need to go- it’s dangerous, especially for non-magical people.”

“What are you trying to say Ronan?” 

“I’m trying to say,” Ronan inhaled, refusing to meeting Adam’s eyes. “You should go back to the castle. I’ll go. You can tell the King the news and recover somewhere safe. Take Chainsaw, she’ll lead you home.”

Rage rose up in Adam and he drew away from Ronan, shaking his head. “Fuck you. I can do this. I’m not some castle weakling who can’t hold their own.”

“I know that.” Ronan bit back. “That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Then what are you saying?” 

Ronan’s eyes flashed. “That-”

“I’m weak, that I can’t cut it.” People had told Adam that his whole life. He’d heard it since he was a child. He wasn’t going to listen to someone he’d come to trust say it too. 

“That’s not it!” 

Adam stood, pulling himself away from Ronan. “Then what?” He repeated. “What are you trying to say Ronan?”

Ronan stared at him for another minute, emotions flashing across his face. It took Adam the same amount of time to realize that his fists were clenched, that he was holding himself how his dad used to. He inhaled, counting to ten, then said, “I’m not leaving you. I can’t let you do this alone.” He released the words slowly, his anger draining out as he did. 

Ronan’s jaw worked. “I know you aren’t weak. You’re the strongest person I know.”

“Then it's settled. I’m coming with.” 

He watched Ronan inhale then exhale and finally nod. “Like a boil on my ass.”

Adam laughed, shaking his head. As he did he felt his vision sway again and then Ronan’s arm were back around him, holding him tight.

“Let’s get out of this forest and make camp.” Ronan said, leading him back to Chainsaw.

“I can do it myself.” Adam mumbled as Ronan pushed him onto the horse, his hands on Adam’s hips.

“I know Parrish, I know.” 

If Adam leaned heavier on Ronan as they rode out of the woods neither of them said anything. 

Adam had wanted to prod Ronan about where they were going but the next thing he knew Chainsaw had stopped moving and it was dusk. He had slept for most of the day and still felt exhausted.

“Do you want help?” He asked as Ronan slid off, trying to shake the weariness from his bones. 

“Can you even get off the horse?” Ronan asked, looking up from the fire he was starting. 

Adam looked down. It felt like an impossible task. But still he had to try. He started to throw his leg over and immediately began to tip. Luckily Ronan was there, catching Adam under the arm pits and helping him down. 

“That’s what I thought.” Ronan said, not letting him go until he was sure that Adam could stand on his own. Then he looked Adam over. “Get your armor off. You need to breath. And eat.”

Adam nodded, looking down at his armor. It took a while, his finger felt thick and dumb, but eventually he got the armor off and sank next to Ronan, taking the stew he offered.

“I can’t believe I’m so weak.” He muttered, spooning it into his mouth.

Next to him Ronan snorted. “Weak? Parrish. I’ve seen rituals like that knock men out for days. The fact that you’re awake right now is a miracle.”

Adam didn’t reply, unsure if Ronan was telling the truth or a comforting lie.

“What did she take?” Ronan asked as they ate. “What memory?”

Adam paused, unsure if he wanted to share. Ronan waited, not saying anything. 

“When I met the King for the first time.” She’d taken the first time he’d felt hope, the first time he’d thought maybe he could rise to something more. The loss of it stung like a knife wound.

Ronan’s arm was around him and Adam leaned into him, letting himself grieve. Ronan didn’t speak and Adam was grateful for it. They stayed that way for a while, Ronan’s thumb running up and down his arm while he processed. 

Eventually Adam raised his head, looking at the Magician. “Where are we going?” 

“The devil’s gullet. It’s a few days ride from here. It’s a split in the earth, some believe it's where the Devil himself crawled out of.” Ronan paused. It’s an evil place, full of dark spirits and evil things.” 

“Lovely.” Adam rested his head back on Ronan’s shoulder, refusing to examine why this felt so right, so comforting. 

“Ay, exactly the vacation spot you hoped for. We’ll stop in a village on the way, get supplied and a horse. Then we’ll ride there.” 

Adam didn’t say anything more. He nodded, watching the fire crackle and dance. He had never been more grateful for Ronan’s quiet presence.

The man was true to his word. The following day they found a village and Adam bought a new horse while Ronan shopped for other items. Then they rode. For days. Adam was grateful that it was uneventful, they saw trolls in the distance, even an ogre or two, but nothing bothered them. It felt like everything knew they had enough trouble on their plates, that things would soon be hard enough. 

During that time the two of them talked. There was little else to do. Ronan spoke about growing up in the palace, and his brothers. Ronan complained about them but it was clear he loved them dearly. 

“We’ll reach it tomorrow.” Ronan said that night as they made camp. Gone were the lush trees and roaming hills. Now they were nearing a steep mountain. Adam didn’t know how long his horse would last, he may need to release her soon, make the journey on foot. Ronan had explained that they needed to climb up to then go down. It was the only way. 

He felt a strong sense of foreboding for tomorrow. He’d asked Ronan to tell him more about what they’d encounter but the man had been strangely tight lipped about it, only shrugging at Adam’s questions, telling him he’d know soon enough. He sensed that Ronan didn’t want to speak of it, whatever he knew, as if just the words would bring their fate about sooner.

At that thought Adam turned to his companion, the words he’d been thinking about all day finally bubbling up. 

“Ronan I- I know I haven’t always been the easiest to travel with.” Ronan answered his comment with a snort. “But- I appreciate being here with you. It’s been - far better than I imagined.” 

“A high compliment.” Ronan looked at him. The two were pressed together near the fire, as they had been for the last few nights. Neither of them had said anything about it but Adam wasn’t about to deny himself some small comfort. 

“You aren’t quite the ass I thought.” Adam added. 

“You either.” Ronan said, nudging Adam’s shoulder. “When you drop the high and mighty act.”

“I deserved that.” Adam said, yawning widely. 

“And more.” Ronan muttered, his breath hitting Adam’s ear. Adam fell asleep before he could think of a reply. 

The next day the terrain shifted again. Even trees hadn’t bothered to try to grow on the surface. It was like the earth was shying away from this space, refusing to let anything green grow there. Adam didn’t see a path that lead up the mountain. 

“You’ll have to leave your horse.” Ronan said, climbing off Chainsaw as she changed to fly away. “She can’t make it up this.”

“Can we?” Adam asked, skeptical that he could climb the steep cliff.

“With a little help.” From his pocket Ronan produced a rope. Adam was about to ask how that was going to help when Ronan tossed it. They watched as it travelled up, tying itself securely around a rock. It would help them pull themselves up as they went. 

“Impressive.” Adam said. He was rewarded with a grin from Ronan.

“Come on knight, we need to climb while there’s still daylight.” He said as Chainsaw changed back into a bird, perching on Ronan’s shoulder. 

“Do you still bring nightmares back?” Adam asked as they started to climb. 

The other man shrugged. “Sometimes. When I’m stressed or anxious.”

Adam thought back to that first night, when he’d heard Ronan shooing something away. He knew now it was a dream creature, hopefully not a dangerous one. He wondered what about this trip had Ronan anxious. The man seemed unconcerned about the dangers they faced or the cavern they rode towards. He didn’t ask though. Ronan wasn’t the type to answer more than one or two questions at a time. Instead they talked about the worst nobility they’d had to interact with and how they’d handled it. Ronan had used his magic for some amazing, if immature, pranks that Adam wished he had witnessed. 

Up they climbed. It wasn’t long before the air turned thin and even the sparse vegetation disappeared. It was only them, no other living things had bothered to come this far.

“How much further?” Adam asked, pausing to catch his breath. The climb wasn’t easy. They’d had to bring all their supplies with and Adam was starting to regret his armor. 

“We can rest.” 

That wasn’t what Adam had asked but he was too tired to argue. They found a cave and collapsed into it. He was too tired to even set up the tent.

“How did you know?” Adam asked as Ronan set to work, making a fire and finding their food. “That this was what the witch was referring to?” 

“I told you. I’ve spent time out here.” 

“When?” Adam pressed. He knew Ronan didn’t want to talk about it but he was curious. They’d been travelling together for months but there was still so much he didn’t know about the other man.

“My father.” Ronan was starting a fire with the small twigs Chainsaw had brought them and he stared into it, not meeting Adam’s eyes. “He liked to test us, me and my brothers.”

“Test you?”

Ronan nodded. “He liked to say that no one was going to help us survive and the earlier on we knew it the better. So he’d take us on trips. Leave us in the woods and tell us to find our way home.”

“Gods.” Adam sat up, frowning. “How old were you?”

“Nine. Maybe ten.” Ronan poked the fire. “At least I had magic. My brothers didn’t. It was far worse for them.”

“Your dad was a monster.”

Ronan looked at him and for the first time Adam saw himself reflected there. Both of them had deserved better from their parents, deserved love when they’d only gotten pain. 

“It wasn’t your fault.” Adam said gently, putting a hand on Ronan’s arm. “What he did to you, you didn’t deserve it.”

Ronan looked at him, his hard eyes meeting Adam’s. “You either.” 

Without thinking Adam moved in, pressing his lips to Ronan’s. He didn’t know what he was doing, only that for the first time in ages he felt sure of something. 

Then Ronan pulled back, shaking his head. “I don’t want pity.”

Adam hadn’t expected that. He had been sure that Ronan would want this, want Adam’s lips on his. “That’s not what it was.” 

“Then what was it?” Ronan asked. He didn’t sound angry, though Adam wished he had. Instead Ronan sounded hurt, wary. Adam could practically feel him putting his guard back up. 

“I don’t know,” He admitted. It had been impulsive, a desire to act on something that had been building in him for a while, but he wasn’t sure he could name it. 

“Don’t try it again until you do.” Ronan said, standing up and going to the tent. He disappeared inside, leaving Adam with just the howling wind for company. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my fav chapter. I really love creepy witch Neeve


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of Ronan’s sentence was interrupted as something leapt at them. The only warning they had was Chainsaw’s angry squawk and then something was on Ronan. The light rolled away and Adam could barely make out what it was. All he saw was teeth and fangs. A body with a million legs and many of them gripping Ronan.
> 
> Ronan gnashed his teeth, screaming obscenities at the creature as they fought, rolling further away. For a split second Adam debated whether to retrieve the light or help Ronan. But then he heard Ronan let out a terrible scream, echoing in the cavern, and Adam’s decision was made. He threw himself after Ronan and the creature, pulling out his sword. 
> 
> “Ronan!” He screamed, rushing towards them. Ronan’s response was a strangled cry. With complete horror, Adam saw that the creature had it’s claws wrapped around Ronan’s neck, trying to strangle him. Chainsaw was already there, clawing and pecking at the creature to no avail. 

The next morning Ronan acted as if nothing had happened. Which, Adam reasoned, it hadn’t. Whatever he’d hoped would happen hadn’t. Ronan had slept outside and Adam had decided that whatever he was feeling was secondary to the quest. Once it was over he would sit down and examine his feelings, decide if they were only due to being alone with the other man for so long. Until then, they had a crown to recover.

“We’ll reach the drop today.” Ronan said as they started to climb. “We’ll be going deep into the land, where the ancients lived.”

Adam wanted to ask who they were, what that meant, but Ronan was already climbing and soon, Adam was too out of breath to think about anything besides his next step. His lungs burned, the air was thin and each breath barely gave him air. Spots danced across his vision. He didn’t know how much longer he could go on.

He was about to say as much when Ronan stopped. It was so abrupt that Adam ran into him, causing the other man to stumble. 

“What the-”

“We’re here.” Ronan said. Adam walked next to him and saw that they were on the edge of a cliff, a gaping maw stretched in front of them, so wide that Adam couldn’t see the other side. Ronan’s boots were on the edge and with a start Adam realized how close he’d come to pushing the other man in.

“Now what?” Adam asked, peering into the hole. It was darker than the night sky and smelled rancid, like bile and rotting flesh. Every part of Adam told him not to go down there, that the only thing he would find was death. 

“We go down.” Ronan pressed something into Adam’s hand. He looked down, seeing a small piece of cloth in his hand. “Open it.” 

Adam did, seeing that it was a big square that answered none of his questions. “Hold onto the edges,” Ronan explained. “It’ll slow your descent. Hopefully.”

Adam was about to ask what the hell that meant when Ronan leapt off the edge, so fast that even Chainsaw fell for a moment. Adam dashed to the edge, watching him fall, fall and then- 

The fabric caught the air, billowing open and slowing his descent. Adam exhaled as Ronan whooped loudly. 

“Hurry up knight!” He called, already disappearing into the darkness. 

“He’s going to be the absolute death of me.” Adam muttered, taking a few steps back and trying to convince himself to follow in Ronan’s footsteps His brain said to go but his legs disagreed, refusing to move. 

It took him thinking about how he’d never hear the end of it from Ronan to finally move. He ran to the edge and leapt, plummeting nearly fifty feet before he could convince his fabric to grab air and slow his fall. 

He kept falling. It was pitch black, Adam’s only sense of space was when he would hit the edge of the hole, his boot scrapping or back hitting a rock. He hated it. He had no idea how long he would fall for, or what he’d find when he reached the bottom. The air smelled even worse than above, and he had to stop himself from gagging. 

Then he saw a light below, bright and shining.

“Finally!” Ronan called, holding a small light above his head. “Thought you’d chickened out.” 

“Never.” Adam said, relieved as his feet finally touched solid ground. The feeling quickly disappeared as he looked around. They were in a huge cavern, Adam had no idea how big, but he could hear things moving around, skittering and dancing just outside of Ronan’s light. 

“Is the light wise?” He asked, unease growing in him. 

“Unless you failed to mention your ability to see in the dark.” Ronan replied, turning towards him, a grin on his face. He seemed nearly at home down here, among the foul smelling moss and skittering insects. It made Adam wonder if Ronan was something less than human, something that belonged here.

But then Ronan’s face caught the light and Adam saw the worry he had there, the concern for Adam, and the thought vanished.

“What are you worried about?” He asked gently, his free hand knocking against Adam’s.

A million options ran through Adam’s head. There was a lot to be worried about- whether they could find the crown, how hard it would be to navigate down here, how many creatures lived here, how big they were- but as Adam looked at Ronan he felt himself calming down. They’d already survived so much together, this was the last step. They could do it. Together.

“Nothing.” 

“Good. Off we go then.” Ronan said, walking confidently towards one of the many openings.

“How do you know which way to go?” Adam asked, moving quickly to catch up. 

“I-.” 

The rest of Ronan’s sentence was interrupted as something leapt at them. The only warning they had was Chainsaw’s angry squawk and then something was on Ronan. The light rolled away and Adam could barely make out what it was. All he saw was teeth and fangs. A body with a million legs and many of them gripping Ronan.

Ronan gnashed his teeth, screaming obscenities at the creature as they fought, rolling further away. For a split second Adam debated whether to retrieve the light or help Ronan. But then he heard Ronan let out a terrible scream, echoing in the cavern, and Adam’s decision was made. He threw himself after Ronan and the creature, pulling out his sword. 

“Ronan!” He screamed, rushing towards them. Ronan’s response was a strangled cry. With complete horror, Adam saw that the creature had it’s claws wrapped around Ronan’s neck, trying to strangle him. Chainsaw was already there, clawing and pecking at the creature to no avail. 

In a heartbeat Adam imagined what would happen if Ronan died. He’d be trapped down here with no way out. He’d die, either through hunger or through the same end as Adam. They’d become bones, picked clean by the creatures that dwelled here. The King and Queen would never know what happened. They’d pass into memories then legends. 

But worse than all that was that Adam would never get to finish what he’d started last night. It may have been impulsive then but now, as he ran towards the other man, he knew that it wasn’t. His body may have acted before his brain caught up but he knew what he felt for Ronan was real. It burned in him, threatening to claw its way out if he didn’t do something about it. He couldn’t let Ronan die before telling him as much. 

“Get off him!” Adam cried, raising his sword. In one fell swoop he brought it down on the thing’s head- or what he hoped was it’s head- severing it from the body. The damn thing didn’t fall though, it kept attacking Ronan for one, two heartbeats before it finally collapsed. 

Directly onto Ronan. The other man wheezed and Adam was quick to push the body off, checking to see if Ronan was injured. The magician was covered in his blood, slightly green and sticky, but Adam didn’t care. He tugged Ronan to his feet, holding him close. 

“I know now. I know what it is.” Adam whispered into Ronan’s ear. 

Ronan looked bewildered for only a second but then he realized what Adam meant. “And what is it?” He asked, his voice gruff but hopeful. 

“It’s this.” Adam replied, pressing his lips to Ronan’s. It took Ronan only a second to kiss him back, his hand sliding to Adam’s hair and holding him close. Adam had never been kissed like this before, like someone couldn’t wait another second for him, like they needed him like they needed air. He didn’t think he could handle any other type of kiss after this.

“That’s barely an answer.” Ronan said once they pulled back, several minutes later.

“It was an inane question.” Adam said, swallowing hard as he looked at Ronan. He could barely make the other man out but it didn’t matter. By now he had memorized Ronan’s features, his strong jaw and intense eyebrows. 

“Are you sure about this? I don’t do things only halfway.” Ronan asked, clearly still unsure. 

He nodded. Adam had been a fool not to see it until now, how Ronan had always felt, how his own feelings had grown. “If we get out of this alive I’m yours.” He promised. 

A small smile appeared on Ronan’s lips. “That’s quite the motivation to survive.” 

Adam laughed, using his sleeve to wipe off Ronan’s face. “We need to move. I’m sure those creatures won’t hesitate to attack again.” He could already hear them moving closer, the sound of a million scurrying feet growing closer. 

Ronan nodded. “Chainsaw, get the light.” He directed. The bird flew over and picked up the light in her claws, carrying it above them to illuminate the area. Adam wasn’t sure he wanted to see the rest of the cavern. It was likely to be even less inviting than the entrance. 

But they hadn’t come all this way to turn back now. He steeled himself, drawing his shoulders back and looking around. The area they were in was huge, like a gaping mouth, trying to swallow them whole. It looked to be the size of their training yard back home but Adam saw several smaller tunnels, all jutting off in different directions.

His heart sank. How were they going to find the crown in all this? It could take years. 

“We’ll never find it.” He said, shaking his head. 

Then he felt a hand in his, clasping it roughly. He looked over and Ronan was grinning at him. “You’d think by now you’d have a bit more faith in me.” 

“Do you know where it is?”

Ronan shook his head. “I don’t. But this should.” He opened his hand and revealed a small disc. It rose, spinning in the air as if tasting it. 

“It can find the crown?” Adam asked.

“It should find other magic. If I made it right.” Ronan said, his eyes on the object. “My bet was that there wouldn’t be too many magical objects down here.”

“That’s brilliant.” 

Ronan looked at him, his expression surprised but happy. Adam didn’t hesitate to lean in and kiss him again, enjoying how eagerly Ronan responded to it. 

“I should have known you’d be a distraction.” Ronan said when they pulled back. 

He didn’t reply, instead watching the small object shiver and then fly off. Adam and Ronan were quick to follow it. Thankfully it seemed designed to stay within so many feet of Ronan. As they followed it they had to jump over ravines and wade through muck. At one point Adam got stuck in a small tunnel they had to crawl through, only making it out once he shed his armor. He was much lighter without it but felt unprotected, exposed. They travelled for hours. Adam hadn’t seen any other creatures but he heard them, moving near the men.

Then abruptly, the object stopped, bumping against a wall of stacked rocks. 

“We’re close.” Ronan said. “I can feel something beyond that, something powerful.”

Adam stared at the formidable pile, unsure how to get through without causing a collapse. 

“I may be able to dislodge some with my sword.” He offered reluctantly. It would ruin the blade but that barely mattered now, not when they were so close. 

Ronan shook his head. “You forgot the advantage of travelling with a wizard.” Ronan said, sitting down. “I’ll dream us something.”

“And what am I supposed to do while you nap?”

“Protect us.” 

Almost on cue there was a loud roar. Adam couldn’t tell where it came from but whatever it was from sounded huge. 

“Dream fast.” Adam asked, raising his blade.

Ronan nodded, laying his head on a rock and closing his eyes. Adam watched him for as long as he dared, until the muscles in Ronan’s face relaxed and his breathing deepened. 

Then he turned back towards the cave. Adam could hear them. Things that wanted to know how he tasted, what his insides looked like.

“It’s you and me.” He told Chainsaw. The bird had transformed into a hawk, with huge talons and a sharp beak. She clicked at him in affirmation. 

Then the creatures came. The noise grew, a clicking of jaws and scampering of feet. Adam tightened his grip on the blade, taking a slow, deep breath as he watched them emerge. They were better adapted to this place than him, that much was clear. They didn’t have eyes, only sunken holes that spoke of what used to be there, but what they lacked in vision they made up in speed, scurrying quickly towards their small crew. 

Refusing to think about the overwhelming numbers Adam focused on the closest creature, bringing down his blade and removing his head. Then he did it again. And again. He didn’t think to allow himself to think about anything else. He watched as Chainsaw flew up, attacking the creatures with her beak. It was clear that they didn’t like her caw, a wave of chittering rose up every time she screamed.

They also didn’t like the light. The small orb Ronan had made had an invisible wall around it, the creatures somehow managing to avoid it and stay in the shadows. If only Adam had more of those he could turn the tide of this battle, maybe keep the creatures at bay. So far none had managed to get to Ronan. Adam placed himself solidly in front of the other man, refusing to let him be harmed. 

He could only pray that Ronan’s invention would do the same for him.

Adam didn’t know how long he fought. His arm grew tired, bodies piled up, but still more came, pouring out of the opening like they had been waiting for this chance, for new blood to spill. 

“How are you Chainsaw?” He called, sparing a glance at the bird. She cawed back, sounding tired. He understood the feeling.

“Come on Ronan,” He mumbled. A creature got close, jaws nearly closing on his arm. He was getting lazy as exhaustion threatened to claim him. The sword swipes were smaller, slower. He was near the end but the creatures still came.

Then he made a mistake. He was trying to step in to get a small creature that was too close to Ronan but he overstepped, slipping on some guts and tumbling down. He landed, hard, and then they were on him, more than he could even count, all biting and clawing at him. He couldn’t fight back. As he pushed one off another three replaced it. He could feel the small cuts on any exposed skin. It wouldn’t be long before they overwhelmed him and Adam wasn’t sure he could fight back anymore. He was so tired, even the thought of lifting his arm to bat them away seemed like a tremendous task. 

But he knew he couldn’t give in. Ronan was relying on him. So was his King. 

Adam tried to sit up but was instantly pushed back down by the weight of the creatures. He groaned with the effort. Above him Chainsaw was cawing, trying to help however she could. 

“Adam! Take my hand!” He heard someone call. Through the mess of wiggling bodies he saw Ronan, standing above him and holding out a hand. Adam reached up and clasped it, letting Ronan pull him up and away from the mess of bodies. 

“Now duck!” Ronan cried, sheltering Adam’s head with his hand as he threw something into the tangled bodies. Adam ducked, trusting whatever Ronan had dreamt to save them. He heard a loud pop and then- silence. All the clicking had stopped. 

Adam turned, seeing the bodies of all the creatures, still and unmoving. 

“What did you do?” He asked, gaping at Ronan. 

Ronan shrugged, releasing an angered Chainsaw that he had been holding. “It was a light blast. I hoped it would kill all of them.”

“You’re brilliant.” Adam said as he gave himself one breath to recover. He could already hear other legs moving, growing closer. “What about the wall?” 

“You’re never satisfied.” Ronan said with a smile. He held up a second object. “It should function like dynamite.”

“Let’s try it.” Adam said, ready to leave this space. 

Ronan nodded, pointing to a corner. “You and Chainsaw wait there, I’m going to throw this and run to you.”

Adam wondered if that was really the best option but time was too short to argue. He obeyed Ronan’s command, walking to the corner and hiding as best he could. He heard something hit the wall then Ronan running to them, again sheltering Adam with his body. Again there was a loud pop and then Adam heard rock crumbling. The air filled with dust, making it harder to breath but as it settled he turned, seeing a small hole in the rubble. 

“Let’s go.” Ronan said. “I’m not sure how stable it is.” Adam could see small rocks shifting and moving above them, threatening to gain speed and crush them. Chainsaw had already flown through, cawing at them to move. Adam didn’t hesitate, grabbing Ronan’s hand and dashing to the opening. 

“You first.” Both said. Then they both glared at the other.

“If you think-” Ronan started but Adam shook his head.

“You have to make it. If you-” He paused for a second. “If you die I’m trapped. I’m sure we’ll need more magical objects to find the crown and escape. I’m useless without you.”

Ronan furrowed his brows but Adam didn’t wait, pushing him towards the hole. “Don’t argue. I’m not being noble. I want to live too so hurry up.” 

Finally Ronan started to move, throwing himself into the tunnel and crawling through. It was a tight fit and it caused more rocks to fall. Adam could hear the creatures getting closer as Ronan pulled himself through. He didn’t let himself look back though, too focused on pushing Ronan’s legs. After what felt like forever Ronan made it through, falling with a small ‘oof’.

He was on his feet quickly though, turning to look at Adam. “Now you. Hurry.” He said, reaching for Adam. 

Adam nodded, sparing only a short glance back. The creatures were already back, crawling over the bodies of their fallen comrades. Adam didn’t bother to watch any longer. He dove into the tunnel, trying not to panic about how tight the fit was. Ronan grabbed his hands, pulling Adam through. He could feel the rocks shifting around him, threatening to collapse and crush him. 

Then he got stuck. His hips stopped, too big to go through. He could feel the creatures nipping at him, trying to get through the thick hide of his boots. Ronan kept pulling him. Even Chainsaw tried to help, taking fabric in her beak and pulling. 

“Ronan-” He started, trying to swallow the panic that was rising in him.

“Don’t say it. Don’t say anything.” Ronan told him, shaking his head. “I’m getting you out.” 

As he said it he dropped Adam’s hands, going instead to the wall of rock and digging, trying to make more space. At the same time Adam tried to push back on the wall, hoping to gain a few inches so he could pop free. Instead though it felt like things shifted and the rocks tightened their hold on him. 

“Ronan-” He didn’t know what he wanted to say. Maybe thank you, thank you for the adventure, for choosing him, for offering to be with him despite having seen the worst of him but he didn’t know how to put any of that into words in the short time he had left. 

It wasn’t fair. They hadn’t had enough time. Adam needed more time. 

“Don’t.” Ronan growled. Adam twisted back to see that Ronan’s fingertips were bloodied from the sharp rocks. 

“I deserve to say goodbye.” Adam said, biting back a cry of pain as something closed on his leg.

“You can say goodbye when it’s over. It’s not over.” Ronan stood again, holding out his hands. “Got it?” Adam nodded. “Now stuck it in and I’m going to pull you hard, it might hurt but-”

“It’s fine.” Adam said, bracing himself. He sucked in his stomach as much as he could, hoping the few inches was enough. 

Then Ronan braced himself and pulled. He pulled so hard it hurt Adam’s arms and shoulders. 

For a second nothing happened. Nothing except another bite on his leg and more rocks falling. 

And then-

Then he dislodged. He and Ronan flew back as the hole collapsed behind him. They ended up in a pile on the floor, neither moving except to pant. Adam sucked air into his lungs greedily, relishing how it felt. It took him a second to look down, realizing he had landed on top of Ronan.

Ronan realized the same thing, turning a brilliant shade of red. “You can get off me now.” He grumbled. 

“Gods no.” Adam said, dipping his head and claiming Ronan’s lips. He tried to pour his thanks, his feelings, into it, knowing that Ronan wouldn’t accept a verbal thank you. Ronan kissed him back, a hand winding around to grip the back of Adam’s head, not letting him move back even an inch. 

Adam had no idea how long they kissed for. He didn’t care. They were alive, they’d defeated the odds. 

Then a caw surprised him. Ronan, still a brilliant shade of red, broke the kiss and turned to look at Chainsaw.

“She wants us to focus.”   
“I am.” Adam replied but still he moved back. There would be time for more later. He’d make sure of it. 

Ronan was fishing the crown finder out of his bag, holding it up and letting it whiz by. Both stood to follow it but it didn’t move far. The creation zipped ahead then stopped, falling to the ground.

“Does that mean-” Adam asked, barely daring to breath as Ronan nodded. The two ran forward, dropping to their knees in front of a small pile. It only took Adam a second to realize what it was.

Bones. Picked clean by small creatures or the slow march of time. Even with the decay Adam could see that the clothes were well made, meant for travel but expensive.

“Is that-” He paused, dropping his voice. “Glendower?” 

Ronan nodded. “Or at least the man who had his crown.” Roan said as he reached behind the man and to a small satchel. He turned it over and out came coins, jewels and - a crown, clattering to the cave floor. Both of them stopped breathing and simply stared. It was smaller than Adam had expected. It had none of the presence or feel that he had assumed it would possess. 

“Do you believe it?” He asked in a hushed tone. “That the crown is magic?” He knew that the King believed it completely and Adam believed his King but seeing it sitting there, rusted and missing some jewels, it seemed less likely. Adam’s stomach plummeted at the thought of bringing that back to his king. Everything they’d gone through for nothing more than some forged metal. 

Ronan took a moment to answer, looking at the crown. “I think that there are different types of magic.” He replied slowly, picking up the crown. “And that some can come from objects but others come from people who really believe in something.” He turned it in his hands and Adam watched as it caught the light, the jewels reflecting and casting bright shadows that seemed far bigger than the space they occupied. 

Adam understood. Even seeing the crown in Ronan’s hands it gained something. It seemed more alive, more tangible, when next to a living person. The air rushed back into his lungs. 

“We’ll take all of it.” Adam said, shoving the stones back into the bag. He had no idea what their worth was, it wasn’t important. He knew that the King would want anything associated with Glendower. 

They stood and Ronan placed the crown back in the bag. Only then did Adam look around, seeing that they were in a narrow passageway. One end was totally blocked off and the other took a sharp left. 

“Is it time to go home?” He asked, feeling suddenly weary. After everything that had happened to them their journey was at an end and Adam longed for a hot bath and his own bed. 

Ronan nodded and they started down the path. Ronan seemed to know where he was going and Adam was too tired to question how. Instead he focused on putting one foot in front of the other, trying not to collapse from exhaustion. They walked for a while. At some point Adam asked if they could stop to sleep but Ronan said it wasn’t safe there. So they continued, helping each other climb up hills and trying not to trip down steep declines. 

Then, abruptly, the air changed. Adam felt a breeze, something different than the putrid air that had surrounded him.

“Are we-” He asked but the next few steps answered his question. He could see an opening, the weak morning sun shining through some clouds.

“By the gods.” Adam said, breaking into a run. He didn’t stop until he was outside, sucking in the fresh, thin air. Ronan was close, stopping behind Adam on the small ledge and hesitating for a second before wrapping his arms around Adam. Adam leaned back, letting himself relax, finally. 

“We’ll sleep here.” Ronan said. “Then tomorrow we go home.” 

They made camp, sleeping curled next to each other, the crown within arm’s reach. It was the best sleep Adam had had in years. 

The ride home was uneventful. They shared Chainsaw for most of the way, Adam sleeping against Ronan’s shoulder while Ronan held him close. It was easy, comforting and far too soon the castle loomed in the foreground. As excited as Adam was to be back he had no idea what would come next, for them or for him. It seemed strange to simply go back to palace life, to live as a knight again. He’d seen too much of the world now, encountered too many things, to go back to what had been before. 

But still, they pushed through the night to reach the castle, knowing that the King was waiting for them. They’d already been gone for weeks with no messages and Adam knew that Gansey was likely on edge waiting for them. 

It was then that he remembered what he’d lost. The memory he’d given up. He wondered if the King would be able to tell, if he’d know what Adam had lost.

“What’s wrong?” Ronan asked. He’d become far too good at reading Adam’s moods. 

“My memory of meeting the King. Its-”

He didn’t need to say any more. Ronan wrapped his arm around Adam, kissing his cheek. “The King will understand. And will probably share his memory with you. Though I’m sure he looks like the hero in it.”

Adam laughed, feeling slightly better. He still hated that he’d lost such an important memory but he wouldn’t deny that it was worth it. They’d gotten the crown, that was what mattered. Any sacrifice Adam had to make would have been worth it. 

They rode up to the gate, Adam yelling a greeting to the guard who instantly recognized them and lifted the gate to allow them in. While all Adam wanted was a warm bath and his bed he was met by Noah and Henry, both grinning at him. 

“You made it!” Noah cried, helping Adam down.

“And without killing each other.” Henry added, glancing at them. 

“About that-” Adam started. He hadn’t thought about how he was going to tell everyone, or how they'd react. But now wasn’t the time. They were being ushered inside and taken to the throne room. Adam was sure that the King and Queen had already been woken up and were readying themselves for the audience. Adam wished he was given the same courtesy. He didn’t want the King to see him like this, worn and dirty, but he knew it wasn’t likely to matter. 

Noah and Henry battered him with questions that Adam tried to answer but mostly he was too exhausted. He tried to look over at Ronan to meet the other man’s eyes but he would only stare ahead as they walked.

Before long they were being ushered into the throne room. The King and Queen were already there, sitting in their robes. As always, the Queen ignored all decorum and sprang to her feet, running to Adam and throwing her arms around him. 

“You’re alive! I never doubted it!” 

“Thank you?” He laughed, hugging her back.

“Sir Henry owes me five coin!” She added, drawing back and looking at him. He’d forgotten so much about her in his time away. 

“Glad you know you bet on my life.”

“I bet you’d return! I always believed in you!” She said with a laugh before finally returning to her throne. Then Adam turned to the King, bowing deeply as he did.

“Your majesty.” 

“Rise Knight. You know you don’t need to bow to me.” Adam rose as the King continued. “And my wizard, you’ve returned too. Both of you are safe.”

Adam glanced at Ronan once again but Ronan didn’t speak. He walked to the King and handed him the satchel. “We found the crown my liege.” Ronan said before stepping back. It was the more deference than Adam had ever heard from Ronan.

With trembling hands Gansey reached in the back, pulling out the crown and turning it in his hands. Adam saw him wipe tears from his eyes. “I want to hear everything. Tomorrow. You both need a good night’s rest.” The King looked down into the bag, seeing all the jewels. “These, I think, belong to the two of you.” He held out an arm, expecting them to walk forward.

Adam shook his head. “Your majesty, I can’t accept that. Use it for the kingdom.”

The King looked disappointed but nodded as if he expected that. “Very well. We’ll speak tomorrow. Please know you will both be well rewarded for your bravery.”

Adam bowed again then left. Outside the room he waited for Ronan but the man never came. Knowing he wasn’t far from falling asleep on his feet Adam left, hoping to find Ronan tomorrow.

Over the next few days he saw Ronan many times. There were ceremonies and parades. Both were given honorific titles and asked to tell the tale many times. Ronan was always there, seated next to Adam, but it was impossible to get a moment alone with the man. It was driving Adam insane. All he wanted was to be left alone, preferably with Ronan and a bottle of wine. 

Tonight was another party for them, this one thrown by a visiting duke who wanted to honor the men. Adam had made it through the meal but now it was dancing. Many maidens hinted at wanting to dance with him but Adam ignored all of them, instead watching as Ronan slipped outside and into the gardens. As soon as he could Adam followed him, letting the noise of the party slip away as he stepped into the hedge maze. 

It only took a moment to find Ronan, sitting on a bench with Chainsaw. He looked stunning in his all black robes, somehow blending in with the sky above him.

“I’ve been looking for you.” Adam said, relieved he was alone. 

Ronan looked up at him, eyebrow arched. “Why?”

Adam fell to the bench, sitting next to Ronan. “Because I’ve missed you?” Adam waited for him to respond but the other man didn’t, instead tilting his face to look at the sky. 

After a moment he asked, “What’s wrong?” He was tempted to take Ronan’s hand but something about the stiffness in Ronan’s back told him not to. 

“You don’t need to pretend anymore. We’re back. You can go back to your knights and ladies of the court.” Ronan’s voice was bitter, strained.

Adam was confused. “Why would I want to go back?” 

“I know that what we had-” Ronan paused. “It only came because of our situation. It wasn’t real. What you felt, I know it wasn’t real. It was like one of my dream things, an imitation of reality.”

Adam’s eyes narrowed as he tried to work through where this had come from. “Is this because of Henry and Noah?” He asked, remembering how they teased Adam for travelling so well with Ronan despite his hatred for him. 

“I don’t want you tied to me because of a promise made in a cave.” 

“Oh Ronan.” Now Adam did take his hand. “My wizard. You’re so cunning but also foolish.” Ronan’s eyes turned to him, anger flashing in them but Adam wasn’t going to let him speak. “I meant what I said. I want this. I want you. It may have taken us leaving the castle for me to realize it but it doesn’t make the revelation any less real.” 

Adam saw hope in Ronan’s eyes, still guarded but clearly there. Adam pressed his case. “Ronan, I’ll have you. For as long as you let me.” He raised Ronan’s hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. “Say you’ll let me prove it to you, my magician.”

After a long beat Ronan’s lips curled into a smile and he nodded. “I suppose I owe you that much knight.” 

With that Adam leaned in to claim Ronan’s lips, pouring everything he could into the kiss, all the words he couldn’t speak and the promises he wanted to make. He was sure Ronan could feel it too, the magic between them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's done! Finally! Could this have a part 2 one day? a continuation of their adventures and relationship? maybe. But for now, she's finished :D  
> thank you for all the comments and kudos <3

**Author's Note:**

> The rest of the chapters should be up within the next week or so!  
> Art will be posted with chapter 2


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